Why People Say Yes — But Still Don’t Buy

Agreement isn’t conversion. It’s the first step.

 

You nailed the pitch. They smiled, they nodded. And vanished.

Early in my career, I was regularly trapped in a painful pattern, bleeding time, energy and self-worth. It would leave me hanging, wondering what on earth went wrong.

One moment, the possible purchaser is bouncing up and down with excitement, saying that you have exactly what they have been looking for and yes, please! Next, they are avoiding your calls.

We have all been there.

For a while, I would swear silently about the person, moan about what a two-faced, waste of time they were. Alternately, I would hit the old gloom cycle and bemoan my hard luck.

Eventually, a lot of agony later, I finally figured out it was neither of those things.

That “yes” I was hearing? It was a trapdoor.

Not all yeses are created equal

There are a few people who say yes, genuinely mean it and whose order goes straight through without a hitch.

But truthfully? They are about as rare as a polar bear in a desert.

Instead, that “yes” you hear may not mean that they have any intention of buying. There are three other main groups a “yes” falls into instead.

“Yes, to keep the peace”. You may well believe that you struck up a good rapport with this group. You may even come away thinking what lovely people they are. That is because this group are the people pleasers. So, of course, they say “yes”. They know it is the nicest thing to do, telling you what you want to hear. But, they have zero intent on actually placing the order.

“Yes, because I want to believe”. When we have a problem, we want to find a solution. The worse the problem, the more we want it solved. In this group, customers have a problem, and when they hear your solution, they grab at it as if they were drowning. But not, sadly, because they are convinced they have found the answer. Sure enough, given time to think about it, they decide it isn’t a solution after all.

“Yes, because I’m not ready to say no”. This group may already buy something else from you and think they ought to hear you out. They may be tasked by their boss to get comparative quotes. They may simply want to appear busy. There can be all sorts of reasons, but the bottom line is that they are buying your time but have no interest at all in the product.

The one reason you may not have considered

While your buyer may be afraid of missing their perfect solution, want to grab something ahead of the competition, or want to be liked and dodge confrontation, there is also one more huge reason that will generate a “yes” that is going nowhere.

If you have been in this situation and received an enthusiastic yes, only to end up being ghosted, your script might be creating the ghost.

Ensuring a yes that will turn to a no comes from:

1. Missing out on the trust-building phase. When you hear screamingly loud messages of how much your customer needs and wants a solution, it is all too horribly easy to jump ahead of yourself and miss the crucial phase when you build a trusting relationship with your customer.

After all, if someone appears desperate to buy, who is going to be crazy enough to slow that conversation down?

You are. When you do sales and marketing the right way, the way that gets real sales, because you know the trust isn’t there yet. People buy from people they trust.

2. Focus on pitching the benefits. You can do a blinding job pitching that service, telling people all the data and all the shiny benefits.

Imagine you have told them how much money they will save. Had you stopped and listened, you would have heard them when they told you they didn’t care how much it cost as long as it just did the job.

If your brilliant pitch continues to underline the cost savings and barely mentions the effectiveness, even if it sways them briefly, it won’t keep their commitment in the long run. You will have missed their problem.

3. Your follow-up breaks the spell. Too many of us hear the “yes” and rub our hands with glee, thinking job done.

But the customer will always sense that, and the clear message is that you are not interested in them, only in the sale.

Who wants to buy then?

Good marketing doesn’t just win the yes. It removes the reasons to back out.

Where the Real Sale Happens

If people bought logically, then yes could well mean a firm sale.

But people buy with trust.

And trust takes time to build. It takes time before the sale to get to know that person and understand their needs, even at the cost of slowing the sale down.

And it takes time after that initial yes. When you hang around, when you continue to listen to them, when you don’t just walk away thinking “job done”, that is when you start to build genuine emotional trust.

You can convince someone intellectually, but they won’t buy without emotional trust. And when that yes doesn’t follow through to a conversion, it spells out clearly that they did not have that trust in you.

View the first yes as permission to keep earning trust, not as a sale.

Don’t make the mistake of only honing your pitch. Refine a follow-up process that your pitch deserves.

When you have an empathetic, personal follow-up process, figures show up to a 78% higher conversion rate. That is the difference between silence and sales.

Bridging the gap between “yes” and order”

In theory, a verbal agreement is legally binding. But it would be pretty crazy to rely on that.

The legal case would be shaky due to a lack of evidence, the fight would be contentious, and not only would you never have an ongoing relationship with that customer, but your ruined reputation would precede you in the marketplace.

Imagine trying to get anyone to have an initial conversation with you after that one.

Save money on the legal fees, build long-term relationships and keep your reputation in place. Take these 9 winning steps instead.

1. When you get a “yes”, don’t pause the conversation. Keep building.
2. Express how pleased you are to be of service and re-underline a specific benefit that will make the biggest difference to them.
3. Check if they have any other concerns. While this might feel as if you are self-sabotaging, far better to dig out and deal with any issue now.
4. If, at any stage, they produce a stumbling block or delaying tactic, ask them what would make the difference. Invite them to be honest.
5. Ask them what their next step is. Be clear on the road map.
6. Give them something. For free. When you next speak, tell them you thought of them and pile on some value. It can be something small, something that doesn’t cost you anything, a link to some genuinely helpful information, or an introduction to a company that could be useful to them.
7. As you stay in touch, continue to reinforce that emotional safety. Do this by never pushing, by telling them relatable stories, and giving subtle reassurance with new testimonials.
8. If you sense you might be losing them, design a micro-step for them, a mini-commitment that they can test the water with, safely.
9. Never, ever make them feel guilty about hesitations or delays.

Relationship building is as critical after the yes as it is before it.